I have used this blog to write down all of the fucked up emotions I’ve been having lately.
I think I really needed to get it out of my system, but now I am done with it for a while.
I did delete all of my other posts, because they don’t serve any purpose now. I don’t need the world to know all about my ex or why I felt so sad and hurt.
Truth is, I will always feel hurt when I think of him. Because I really, truly loved him in a way I have never felt before.
But now that is history, and there is nothing more I can do about it. It sucks that we ended with saying we never want to speak to each other again, but I know for a fact that seeing him giving all his love to someone else would destroy me. I will always love him in one way. I’m in no way proud of it, but it is how I feel, and having no contact with him is probably the only way I can move on with my life.
Still hope he gets to have a great life with someone who really cares about him, because, well, he is amazing in so many ways. I wish him all the best. I’m just not strong enough to see it when I wish with all my heart that I would be a part of it.
With that said, I am closing down my blogging and stuff for a while, to really be done with all that has happened over the last year.
I have some really exciting jobs and projects going on that I will focus on, some travel plans with friends and I have met someone who is really sweet to me. Can’t say if there will be something serious with this guy, but at least he makes me smile and seems to care a lot about me. It’s nice, and that’s what it will be for the moment. I’m not ready to trust someone a 100% anyway and I have to work on myself a lot.
Goodbye old life, old self and old memories.
From now on I will try to be better, in every possible way.